Eleven Things

Steve Perry says:
they are playing "anyway you want it" by journey on the radio
i was alone
i never knew
what good love could do

Neil Schon says:
you love Journey

Steve Perry says:
then we touched
and we sang
about eleven things

Neil Schon says:
it always come back to Journey

Steve Perry says:
what are the eleven things?

Neil Schon says:
1) Tight pants
2) Big noses
3) 70's facial hair

Steve Perry says:
"all night" seems to be one
and "hold tight" seems to be another
then they give up

Neil Schon says:
4) never giving up
5) holding tight

Steve Perry says:
5) not fighting the feeling
6) wait

Neil Schon says:
6) touching

Steve Perry says:
7) that's REO 'wagon

Neil Schon says:
8) yah

Steve Perry says:
9) when the lights go down in the city

Neil Schon says:
10) Holding tight again

Steve Perry says:
10) being there in your cit-ay
WHAT IS THE ELEVENTH THING?

Neil Schon says:
10.5) The smell of wine and cheap perfume

Steve Perry says:
11) touching and going our separate ways

Neil Schon says:
there

Steve Perry says:
that's like, 23 things
instead of 11
i love it when we don't listen to each other

Sick Day

The Great Blog of China

Happy Belated New Year, China!




Ping Pong says:
been checking the site stats
beijing dropped by Feb. 16th

Chairman Mao says:
International!

Ping Pong says:
and then Hubei
Hubei China!!
we are HUGE in CHINA!

Chairman Mao says:
wowowow!

Ping Pong says:
and then just plain CHINA!!
no city
JUST CHINA!!

Chairman Mao says:
China loves us

Ping Pong says:
3 visits from 3 place in China

Chairman Mao says:
holy cow

Ping Pong says:
do you think they will give us the key to the Imperial City?

Chairman Mao says:
let's do something for special for China

Ping Pong says:
ok

Chairman Mao says:
Let's China-up the blog

Ping Pong says:
ok
i could post up some fried dumplings

Chairman Mao says:
ok
how about rice? I like rice. You can do a lot with rice

Ping Pong says:
GOOD idea
what else

Chairman Mao says:
dumplings...
rice...
that is a GOOD start

Ping Pong says:
we could put a wall around the blog

Chairman Mao says:
ohhh
brilliant

Ping Pong says:
and call it great

Chairman Mao says:
The GREAT BLOG OF CHINA

Ping Pong says:
YES!!
ok
so far we have
dumplings
rice
GREAT BLOG OF CHINA

Chairman Mao says:
it is the only blog visible from outer space

Ping Pong says:
ahahahaahh!!!

Stew The Cat

* Note - Stew The Cat is Puss Master General's cat.

Octopussy
my avatar kinda looks like stew
stew the cat
not stew the meal

Puss Master General
yah, Stew on a diet
with less crazy hair

Octopussy
lol
i miss stew

Puss Master General
Stew is the Phil Spector of cats

Octopussy
stew used to bleat at me and stumble into me

Puss Master General
he does that to me
I like Stew a lot
he is bigger than Tay Tay

Octopussy
bleat bleat bleat
how many kitties you got, 3?

Puss Master General
yes 3
he is really into being in the closet right now

Octopussy
stew is afraid to show his true identity?

Puss Master General
yes
Stewie has to have closet access at all times
he yells and scratches at the door if he can't get in

Octopussy
can i be stewart's godmom?

Puss Master General
sure

Octopussy
can I send him 5 dollar bills in his high school graduation card?

Puss Master General
yes

Octopussy
can i give him a toaster at his wedding?

Puss Master General
yes

Octopussy
can i spit in a hankerchief and wipe dirt off his face?

Puss Master General
no
that's weird
I mean, it is when you do it to me

Happy Valentine's Day from Blah Blah Blahg

WE LOVE YOU!

Stop, Drop and Roll

Duck Sauce says:
i smell bacon
do you?

Wet Blanket says:
no
you might be on fire
check
STOP DROP AND ROLL

Duck Sauce says:
nope
not on fire
although i AM hawt

Wet Blanket says:
don't ever do that again

Duck Sauce says:
i can't promise

Wet Blanket says:
next time you say Hawt you had better be on fire, I mean it

Duck Sauce says:
hawt

Wet Blanket says:
STOP DROP AND ROLL!!!!

Duck Sauce says:
i'm not on fire

Wet Blanket says:
yes you are

Duck Sauce says:
but i AM smokin'

Wet Blanket says:
I hate you

The Blog Is Life

Oskar Schindler says:
i love our blog

Itzhak Stern says:
me too

Oskar Schindler says:
I would stay awake with the blog while it had the flu and rub it's back and feed it soup

Itzhak Stern says:
I would wake up an hour early to drive the blog 50 miles to work

Oskar Schindler says:
i would shove the blog out of the way of a speeding car

Itzhak Stern says:
I would kiss the blog if it had morning breath
with tongue

Oskar Schindler says:
I would forgive the blog if it cheated on me with another blog

Itzhak Stern says:
I would give the blog the last beer in the fridge

Oskar Schindler says:
when the blog dies, I will start a foundation and charity race in the blog's name and make sure all the proceeds go to further blog research

Itzhak Stern says:
I will send a dozen roses everyday to the blog's grave

Oskar Schindler says:
I would step in front of a bullet for the blog

Itzhak Stern says:
I would give the blog a kidney

Oskar Schindler says:
i would include the blog on a list of blogs, thereby saving it from the nazis

Itzhak Stern says:
whoever saves one blog, saves the blog entire
the blog is life

Oskar Schindler says:
even though the blog chewed up a pair of shoes a week, I would write a grammatically incorrect bestseller about the blog, entitled "The Blog and Me"

Itzhak Stern says:
I would buy that on Amazon and pay full shipping

Blogging in Slow Motion

Neotard says:
you know what would be cool

Trinity says:
what

Neotard says:
being able to walk in slow motion
all the time
people look really cool walking in slow motion

Trinity says:
know what would be really cool?

Neotard says:
what?

Trinity says:
slapping you upside your retard head
you don't know what cool is

Neotard says:
yes i do

Trinity says:
cool is being able to have bullets bounce off you
cool is xray vision
cool is being able to eat 5 meatball parm subs and not gain weight

Neotard says:
in slow motion
everything is cooler in slow motion

Trinity says:
cool is the lasso of truth

Neotard says:
ok
but
imagine spinning the lasso of truth
in slow motion

Trinity says:
you are a retard

Neotard says:
slow motion rules

Trinity says:
tell you what
i'll get you liquored up on Olde English
and then not only will you see things in slow motion, they'll have vapor trails too

Neotard says:
deal

Hot Button Topic (Heh. We Said "Button")

Pocket Dyke says:
listen
we need a band name to put out this record thing we are making under
please name us

Dirty Breeder says:
umm

Pocket Dyke says:
it is a guitar, bass, drums trio thing, alex writes sort of um...literate, tuneful rock songs

Dirty Breeder says:
i like "Mister Mister"

Pocket Dyke says:
think early Costello meets Neil Young meet early Stones

Dirty Breeder says:
how about "Huey Lewis and The News"?

Pocket Dyke says:
I wanted to be Huey Lewis and the news
ahahahahahahahaha

Dirty Breeder says:
hee hee

Pocket Dyke says:
ok
you are not help
fine!

Dirty Breeder says:
"you are not help"?
are you chinese?

Pocket Dyke says::
yes

Dirty Breeder says:
ah so

Pocket Dyke says:
can I get you beef and broccori?
I love racist hour

Dirty Breeder says:
lol
me rikey beef an brockery

Pocket Dyke says:
let's not put this up as a blog
look at what happened to Kramer and Gibson

Dirty Breeder says:
yah
but wait
rosie didn't really get a WHOLE lotta heat for "ching chong"
so maybe asians are the last acceptable prejudice

Pocket Dyke says:
maybe
but
Rosie did get a lot of "why didn't rosie get any heat for Ching chong"? heat

Dirty Breeder says:
i have diplomatic immunity
i'm dating an asian
so i get a pass

Pocket Dyke says:
yes
and I can call someone a fag

Dirty Breeder says:
right
cause you are a fag

Pocket Dyke says:
right?

Dirty Breeder says:
you don't know if you're a fag?
what's that question mark for?

Pocket Dyke says:
well
I would say I am a dyke
or a lezbo
or a
something
but fag is more for dudes
but I am a 'Mo

Dirty Breeder says:
this isn't fair
i don't have any "morally or racially objectionable" characteristics to mock

Pocket Dyke says:
yes
you do

Dirty Breeder says:
do not
i hate it when you get all the attention

Pocket Dyke says:
you are a dirty breeder

Dirty Breeder says:
since when is that an insult?
you need me to breed more 'Mos!

Pocket Dyke says:
friggin penis in vagina freak!
you are so weird

Dirty Breeder says:
LOL
(this is going up on the blog)

Pocket Dyke says:
ahaha
ok
don't google penis in vagina for a picture though
just a heads up
so to speak

Cheese, Angelina, Bombs, Holy War with Madonna...(and fiery popcorn)

Special Envoy says:
i love how we are famous in 4 countries now
canada, london, china, usa
yes
london is a country
so shut up

Ambassador says:
yes
we are so global

Special Envoy says:
what's the capital of london?
i'd like to write them a thank you note

Ambassador says:
Paris

Special Envoy says:
i'm holding off on thanking canada because I don't trust canada's motives for reading the blog

Ambassador says:
Canada just wants another way to get their cheap drugs over the border
and to sell Anne Murray records

Special Envoy says:
yeah
so
we need to hold them at arm's length

Ambassador says:
yeah
good foreign policy

Special Envoy says:
my arm's length
not yours
cause if YOU held them at arm's length, they'd be sitting in my lap

Ambassador says:
yeah
so
listen

Special Envoy says:
what

Ambassador says:
now that we are goodwill ambassadors to many foreign nations... What should we do?

Special Envoy says:
send cheese
and send angelina to adopt all their babies

Ambassador says:
those are good first steps
when do we send the military and blow shit up?

Special Envoy says:
when they don't give us their oil fields
so WATCH OUT, LONDON!

Ambassador says:
That London Oil is a hot commodity

Special Envoy says:
is there a puppet dictator in london that we can overthrow? It's Madonna, right?

Ambassador says:
I think so
that bitch with her red wrist bands wants a holy war
she will get one!

Special Envoy says:
good
i never liked her

Ambassador says:
ok
so
cheese, Angelina, bombs, holy war with Madonna
done
god I love being the foreign ambassador