Text Blog

Editor's note: Because MSN seems to be having technical issues today, we had to resort to blogging by text message.

Blackberry says:
MSN just launched a smear campaign against barack obama

Samsung says:
I have the shakes

Blackberry says:
I'm sweating and I am considering shaving my head

Samsung says:
I am going toward the light

Blackberry says:
I am running through the streets naked

Samsung says:
I just went blind and lost control of my bowels

Blackberry says:
Stay alive!!!! I will find you!!!
I just ran in the rain

Samsung says:
~gets captured by magua~

Blackberry says:
LOOLOLOLOLOL!! (text blog? I'll be "blackberry")

Samsung says:
I'll be "samsung"

Blackberry says:
gotta poop

The Blog Supremacy

Matt says:
my server just lost a bunch of Oscars to the Bourne Ultimatum

Ben says:
that's a shame

Matt says:
I can't wait for The Bourne Apology
that's gonna be KILLER

Ben says:
i can't wait for The Bourne Oblivion
and then The Bourne Morning After
followed quickly by The Bourne Walk of Shame

Matt says:
Then The Bourne Are You Fucking Kidding Me

Ben says:
and The Bourne Aw Hell No

Matt says:
and after that...The Bourne Please For The Love of God Not Bourne Again

Ben says:
and The Bourne Night of The Living Dead Bournes

Matt says:
and The Bourne Is Ben Affleck In This or Is It The Other One

Ben says:
and The Bourne Ishtar

Matt says:
lol
(you win)

Blogruary

April says:
my ear is peeling

March says:
I hate that
my entire face is peeling

April says:
my lips are hanging in shreds

March says:
it is part of the Februaries
The Februaries come every year
I get gloomy
and itchy

April says:
me too

March says:
and sleepy

April says:
WAY sleepy

March says:
yup

April says:
i love the end of march and april

March says:
I am asleep right now
I noticed that our blogging really picks up in march
so we should get ready for a blog boom

April says:
oh good
i know we've been slumpy lately
but that's ok

March says:
Februaries

April says:
you have to let it have it's natural flow

March says:
it is a symptom

April says:
yes

March says:
Low Blog Rate
LBR
don't worry though
March is coming
and
POW
Blogorama

April says:
i never worry about the blog
the blog can take care of itself

March says:
yeah

April says:
the blog is an entity unto itself

March says:
the blog is self-regulating
the blog is like one of those robots that can learn
it may take over one day
it will no longer need us

April says:
the blog is like air
it's always there
you take it for granted
unless it stinks

March says:
right

April says:
and let me tell you
the blog has cut some stinky ones

March says:
yeah sometimes the blog should light a match
get rid of the odor

April says:
i bought the blog a case of febreeze for christmas

March says:
I put one of those tree air fresheners in its car

April says:
the blog has a car?
wtf?
the blog just hit me up for rent money!
when did it buy a car?
(you weren't supposed to tell me it had a car, were you?)

March says:
I told you
it is taking over

April says:
f*cking blog

Blogtose Intolerant (or, as they say, Lactose Inbloggerant)

Smoked Gouda says:
so
how was your night?

Lactaid says:
uneventful
we ate pizza and I watched The Missus set up her new photography stuff
then I had a cheese in my guts attack at 4 am

Smoked Gouda says:
nooooooo

Lactaid says:
yeah
it happens
I should really not eat cheese

Smoked Gouda says:
don't eat cheese, ok?

Lactaid says:
ok
cheese hates me

Smoked Gouda says:
maybe you and cheese should do some relationship therapy

Lactaid says:
I think we should just break up

Smoked Gouda says:
that's drastic

Lactaid says:
well, it hasn't been working for a long time
we keep trying
doing the same thing over and over

Smoked Gouda says:
yet expecting different results
and neither of you are willing to change your approach
you're always going to want to CONSUME cheese. smother it.
cheese will always eat away at you from the inside

Lactaid says:
right
right
so
it might be time
to end it

Smoked Gouda says:
perhaps you are right

Lactaid says:
cheese is funny
I get mixed messages from cheese
first it is too clingy
then
it wants out!
it runs!
just like that

Smoked Gouda says:
is cheese afraid of committment?
is cheese afraid of the natural progression of a relationship?

Lactaid says:
cheese isn't looking for anything SOLID with me

Smoked Gouda says:
so this isn't a relationship
you turn to each other when there's nothing better around

Lactaid says:
exactly
I need to release the cheese

Smoked Gouda says:
yah
this isn't healthy

Lactaid says:
it isn't fair to either of us
I can't please the cheese, the cheese can't please me

Smoked Gouda says:
who seeks who out?
who initiates?

Lactaid says:
well
it's seems that everytime I feel the need for cheese
cheese just HAPPENS to be there
I open the door
CHEESE!
right there

Smoked Gouda says:
that's a very passive way of describing it

Lactaid says:
I think the cheese is manipulative

Smoked Gouda says:
it's like you are saying it's not your fault
you can always say no
you can cut the cheese.......
.....out of your life

Lactaid says:
I am powerless over the cheese
lololol

Puke, Rage, Die

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
so
I am writing a book
about an attractive, successful, woman in New York
she decides that she needs to go on a journey around the world to find herself

Easy Reader says:
Puke, Rage, Hate

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
the people of each country she goes to are not charmed by her self-absorbed, shallow observations
and they chase her out
to the next country
finally
she meets a man in Indonesia
and she irritates him so much that he kills her
the end
yes
it is called Puke, Beg, Die
your title is good too

Easy Reader says:
lololol
Puke Rage Die
that's a good combo
Beg is good tho

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
better
yup

Easy Reader says:
i love your book

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
I think I need to design the cover

Easy Reader says:
i would like to give you the nobel for literature

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
man, it is going to be huge
Oprah will lavish praise on me

Easy Reader says:
are you going to couch jump?

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
I will spend the entire hour of Oprah's show jumping from couch to couch
that is good television

Easy Reader says:
i agree
one whole hour

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
yup
no talking
just
jumping
Oprah can just sit in her chair

Easy Reader says:
and watch

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
and go to her quiet place

Easy Reader says:
and fluff her hair

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
and every 10 minutes she can get up, leave the set
and come back in a new outfit

Easy Reader says:
and when she goes to commercial, she can shake out her curls and say, "when we come back, more Melissaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" in that mannish way

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
exactly

Easy Reader says:
like she's announcing a pro wrestling tournament

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
and I will just be jumping

Easy Reader says:
you're gonna need to start training
couch jumping is a demanding sport

Elizabeth Gilbert says:
why do you think I have been going to the "gym"?
I am ready for Oprah

Easy Reader says:
go get 'em tiger

-------------------------------------

ed note: I put this up for comparison purposes. Reddy did a great job with her cover up there, didn't she?