POST: The Fourth. In which Darth and Eggy beef up their profile, Darth makes an executive decision, and they weigh the negativity of false advertising.

Darth Snatch says:
we need to find a picture for our profile
Darth Snatch says:
let's google up some sexy chicks
I am the eggman says:
sexy, yet banal
Darth Snatch says:
we could be this:
Darth Snatch says:
http://www.dumbcelebs.com/archives/jfleck.jpg
I am the eggman says:
lol
I am the eggman says:
or the olsen twins
Darth Snatch says:
we could be cheerleaders:
Darth Snatch says:
http://antonian.org/Student%20Pictures%2002-03/August2921.JPG
Darth Snatch says:
OOOOooooo!!
Darth Snatch says:
I know!!
Darth Snatch says:
http://www.espn.go.com/media/pg3/2005/0316/photo/richie_hilton275.jpg
Darth Snatch says:
i made an executive decision
I am the eggman says:
sorry, helping the swank and her slammin legs
Darth Snatch says:
i uploaded nicole and paris
I am the eggman says:
lol
Darth Snatch says:
now when people click on our profile it will reveal our true selves
I am the eggman says:
can't we be BJ and the bear or something?
Darth Snatch says:
no
Darth Snatch says:
cause they need to be 2 people
Darth Snatch says:
not a dude and grizzly
I am the eggman says:
oh
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
what was The Bear? A dog?
Darth Snatch says:
A grizzly?
I am the eggman says:
monkey
Darth Snatch says:
it was not
Darth Snatch says:
i don't believe you
I am the eggman says:
yes
I am the eggman says:
google it
Darth Snatch says:
who names a monkey "Bear?" that's retarded
I am the eggman says:
BJ
Darth Snatch says:
obviously BJ had been snacking on lead paint chips like they were popcorn
I am the eggman says:
http://www.tvofyourlife.com/images/bjbearpic.jpg
Darth Snatch says:
i think the reason that show failed is because america is not ready for animals named after animals they are not.
Darth Snatch says:
i think that too many sample nielsen families heads exploded trying to wrap their noggins around that concept
Darth Snatch says:
that picture is gay
I am the eggman says:
they kept tuning in for the grizzly
Darth Snatch says:
right
I am the eggman says:
and coming away with the monkey
Darth Snatch says:
and there was no grizzly
I am the eggman says:
confusing
Darth Snatch says:
and ultimately disappointing
Darth Snatch says:
no one likes false advertising
Darth Snatch says:
i need to post this
Darth Snatch says:
don't type while I c&p
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
I SAID DON'T TYPE
I am the eggman says:
oops

(time goes by)

I am the eggman says:
can I type yet?
Darth Snatch says:
yes
Darth Snatch says:
sorry
Darth Snatch says:
hold on
I am the eggman says:
s'ok
Darth Snatch says:
lemme publish
I am the eggman says:
I have to poop anyway
I am the eggman says:
ok
I am the eggman says:
brb

POST: The Third. In which Darth Snatch and The Omelette discuss the vagaries of fame, tampons, and Ben Gazzara.



Darth Snatch says:
When do you think our blog will get famous?
I am the eggman says:
soon I hope
I am the eggman says:
I need to be famous soon
Darth Snatch says:
i was kinda hoping it might get famous...like, say tomorrow.
Darth Snatch says:
tomorrow would be good.
I am the eggman says:
I'm hoping to be famous by the end of the month
I am the eggman says:
so, yeah
I am the eggman says:
tomorrow it is
Darth Snatch says:
it's not YOU who will be famous
Darth Snatch says:
it will be our BLOG
Darth Snatch says:
god, you're conceited and overbearing ALREADY
I am the eggman says:
you know what I mean
Darth Snatch says:
this is the pitfall of fame
I am the eggman says:
when I say me I mean we
Darth Snatch says:
back pedaller
I am the eggman says:
I think I will marry ben Affleck soon
Darth Snatch says:
he's already married, dumbass
I am the eggman says:
when our blog is famous, who will you wed?
Darth Snatch says:
i am not going to get married
I am the eggman says:
he can get a divorce, Hollywood style
I am the eggman says:
you're like George clooney or whatever
I am the eggman says:
all single and famous
Darth Snatch says:
i am going to have a stable full of hollywood studs, lusting and pawing the floor at the mere thought of me
Darth Snatch says:
they will all want me, and i will be a giant cock-tease, but they cannot have me
Darth Snatch says:
see, i live only for my ART
I am the eggman says:
you are so dedicated
I am the eggman says:
I wish I could be dedicated
I am the eggman says:
I just want to marry a guy named ben
Darth Snatch says:
you can marry Ben Vigoda
Darth Snatch says:
wait
Darth Snatch says:
not Ben
Darth Snatch says:
Abe
I am the eggman says:
lol
I am the eggman says:
Abe Afleck
Darth Snatch says:
but isn't there a Ben Vigoda?
I am the eggman says:
Ben gazzara
Darth Snatch says:
go look him up on IMDb
I am the eggman says:
when we are famous will we be on IMDb?
Darth Snatch says:
no
I am the eggman says:
our BLOG I mean
I am the eggman says:
oh
Darth Snatch says:
because we have not made a movie or appeared on TV
Darth Snatch says:
yet
I am the eggman says:
oh
Darth Snatch says:
know what we need to do?
I am the eggman says:
what?
I am the eggman says:
hang out with paris hilton?
Darth Snatch says:
i need to interview you and you need to interview me so that people can get where we're coming from, ya dig?
I am the eggman says:
right, right
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
i will interview you first
I am the eggman says:
but first I have to go help the swank with something
Darth Snatch says:
k
I am the eggman says:
because she needs me and has slammin' legs
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
i will interview you tomorrow
Darth Snatch says:
i need all night to prepare my questions
I am the eggman says:
I can't refuse a girl with slammin legs
I am the eggman says:
that would be wrong
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
alright
I am the eggman says:
good, good
I am the eggman says:
brb
Darth Snatch says:
go slam her
I am the eggman says:
lol
I am the eggman says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
stop typing
Darth Snatch says:
i'm trying to c&p this

POST: THE SECOND. In which Darth Snatch and Pocket Dyke survey all they have wrought and decide that a) they are pleased and b) wouldn't it be cool to celebrate with a nice 24 pack of OE right now?


Darth Snatch says:
I just clicked "PUBLISH POST!"
Darth Snatch says:
i take full credit for this blog
Darth Snatch says:
you did nothing
Pocket Dyke says:
that's true
Pocket Dyke says:
but I'm cute and fun to be with
Darth Snatch says:
http://ourimsarefunnierthanyours.blogspot.com/
Pocket Dyke says:
LOLOLOLOL
Darth Snatch says:
omg
Darth Snatch says:
it is MINDLESS and BORING!
Darth Snatch says:
i love it so much
Pocket Dyke says:
it is so good
Pocket Dyke says:
I am LOLOLOLing
Darth Snatch says:
i love our blog
Darth Snatch says:
maybe we will be famous
Pocket Dyke says:
I can't stop laughing at that
Darth Snatch says:
remember that chicke i had on my blog?
Darth Snatch says:
i can't find it
Darth Snatch says:
help me find it
Pocket Dyke says:
wha?
Pocket Dyke says:
oh the chicken
Pocket Dyke says:
I loved that chicken
Darth Snatch says:
it was giving the thumbs up
Darth Snatch says:
and it had a shit eating grin on it's face
Pocket Dyke says:
right
Pocket Dyke says:
yeah, yeah
Pocket Dyke says:
he was cool

...but alas the chicken could not be found. If you are out there and you run into our chicken, please drop us a line at theswankhasanicerack@yahoo.com

UPDATE!!
THE CHICKEN HAS BEEN FOUND!!

POST: The First. In which Darth Snatch does all the boring witless work of setting up a blog, and gives away the secret ingredients to dumpling sauce while Pocket Dyke giggles like a half-wit and contemplates her navel.



Darth Snatch says:
I SAW YOU!!! IN THAT MOVIE!!
Darth Snatch says:
YOU HAD A RED SHIRT ON!!
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Pocket Dyke says:
yep
Darth Snatch says:
YOU WERE AIR DRUMMING!!
Darth Snatch says:
YOU WERE BLONDE!!
Pocket Dyke says:
yep
Pocket Dyke says:
yep
Darth Snatch says:
YOU WERE GIVING THE PATENTED "I'M POCKET DYKE, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY STELLAR FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE" LOOK!!
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Darth Snatch says:
can i post that I saw you in a movie?
Darth Snatch says:
i won't mention the movie
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Pocket Dyke says:
sure
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
in case you are in the credits
Pocket Dyke says:
I'm not
Darth Snatch says:
oh goody
Darth Snatch says:
this will make it even more fun
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Pocket Dyke says:
And I know the look you speak of, and I am ashamed that I do that with my face.
Pocket Dyke says:
why do i do that with my face?
Darth Snatch says:
lol
Darth Snatch says:
i LOVE it
Darth Snatch says:
it is my favorite look of yours
Pocket Dyke says:
LOLOLOLOL
Pocket Dyke says:
I don't mean to do it, then I see myself and think, "what's wrong with my face?"
Darth Snatch says:
lolol
Darth Snatch says:
ooo
Darth Snatch says:
i gotta pull IrishMobKitten in
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
IrishMobKitten was added to this conversation. Handwriting is no longer supported because not all participants can view handwritten messages. Handwritten messages will be sent as text.
Darth Snatch says:
IrishMobKitten...
IrishMobKitten has left the conversation.
Darth Snatch says:
Pocket Dyke needs to deputize you
Darth Snatch says:
see, Rob might come to my housewarming
Pocket Dyke says:
Darthy...
Pocket Dyke says:
he is bad for your soul
Darth Snatch says:
and if Pocket Dyke is not there to run interference, you're gonna have to stop Rob from eating my soul
Pocket Dyke says:
she left
Pocket Dyke says:
she hates us
Darth Snatch says:
oh poo
Darth Snatch says:
i'll get her back
Darth Snatch says:
monica told Rob about the party
Darth Snatch says:
and she said that he THINKS he's coming
Darth Snatch says:
stupid fucker can't be bothered to call me, BUT he's coming to my party
Darth Snatch says:
he's gonna get the door slammed in his face
Pocket Dyke says:
well, there will be enough people to protect your soul
Darth Snatch says:
this is true
Pocket Dyke says:
provide snacks so he isn't tempted to eat it
Pocket Dyke says:
cheetos are a good soul substitute
Darth Snatch says:
lolol!!
Darth Snatch says:
ok!!
Pocket Dyke says:
cuz your soul tastes like Cheetos
Pocket Dyke says:
mine tastes like mung beans
Darth Snatch says:
i disagree
Darth Snatch says:
my sould tastes like fried dumplings
Darth Snatch says:
what are mung beans
Pocket Dyke says:
weird beans
Pocket Dyke says:
I like dumplings
Darth Snatch says:
i have a tasty soul
Pocket Dyke says:
does it have a dipping sauce?
Darth Snatch says:
it does
Darth Snatch says:
that tangy brown stuff
Pocket Dyke says:
I love that stuff
Pocket Dyke says:
what the hell is that stuff?
Darth Snatch says:
i told you
Darth Snatch says:
tangy brown stuff
Pocket Dyke says:
oh
Darth Snatch says:
that is sort of oily and congealed with little bits of more browny things in it and is NECTAR OF THE GODS
Pocket Dyke says:
our IM's are funny
Darth Snatch says:
i know
Pocket Dyke says:
we should start a blog of our IM's
Darth Snatch says:
what would we call it?
Darth Snatch says:
'blahg'
Pocket Dyke says:
dunno
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Darth Snatch says:
lemme see if blogspot has that one
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Pocket Dyke says:
could be "blah blah blahg"
Darth Snatch says:
what's our user name?
Pocket Dyke says:
The Swank has an nice rack
Pocket Dyke says:
oh
Darth Snatch says:
it has to be one that both of us remember
Pocket Dyke says:
um...
Darth Snatch says:
Lemme try theswankhasanicerack
Pocket Dyke says:
LOL
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Pocket Dyke says:
I'll remember that, I don't know if you will.
Darth Snatch says:
password: *******
Darth Snatch says:
i'm making up a yahoo email for us
Darth Snatch says:
hold on
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
k
Darth Snatch says:
yahoo: theswankhasanicerack@yahoo.com
Darth Snatch says:
password: *******
Pocket Dyke says:
LOL
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
blahblahblahg is taken
Pocket Dyke says:
I find this very funny
Darth Snatch says:
what do we want to call it?
Pocket Dyke says:
bummer
Darth Snatch says:
WHAT DO WE WANT TO CALL IT?
Pocket Dyke says:
ummmmm?
Darth Snatch says:
taken
Pocket Dyke says:
UMMMMMMM?
Darth Snatch says:
taken
Darth Snatch says:
how about
Pocket Dyke says:
I have to pee
Darth Snatch says:
theswankhasanicerack.blogspot.com?
Pocket Dyke says:
brb
Darth Snatch says:
DECIDE BEFORE YOU PEE!
Pocket Dyke says:
lol
Pocket Dyke says:
that's a whole different kind of blog
Darth Snatch says:
hokay
Darth Snatch says:
i guess it's up to me to decide
Pocket Dyke says:
How about "Our IMs are funnier than yours?"
Darth Snatch says:
YEAH!
Darth Snatch says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
trying
Pocket Dyke says:
LOL
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Pocket Dyke says:
peeing
Darth Snatch says:
YEAH!! NOT TAKEN!!
Darth Snatch says:
IT'S OURS!!
Darth Snatch says:
I'm posting this IM
Darth Snatch says:
editing names
Darth Snatch says:
decide which name you wanna be
Darth Snatch says:
i am Darth Snatch
Pocket Dyke says:
I want to be Disco Boobs
Pocket Dyke says:
Disco rack
Darth Snatch says:
Disco Rack?
Pocket Dyke says:
yeah
Darth Snatch says:
or Disco Boobs?
Darth Snatch says:
Boobs is funnier
Pocket Dyke says:
Pocket Dyke?
Darth Snatch says:
YEAH!!
Darth Snatch says:
you decide
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
which one?
Pocket Dyke says:
PD
Darth Snatch says:
k
Darth Snatch says:
editing...
Pocket Dyke says:
Pocket Dyke
Pocket Dyke says:
I like that
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
for future editing ease, i would like to suggest that we change our MSN names to whatever we're gonna be that day
Darth Snatch says:
did that make sense?
Pocket Dyke says:
yes
Darth Snatch says:
send me your disco ball avatar
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Pocket Dyke says:
or you can google "mirror ball" like I did
Darth Snatch says:
JUST SEND ME THE DAMN PICTURE, LAZY ASS
Pocket Dyke says:
oh
Pocket Dyke says:
ok
Darth Snatch says:
god this editing is gonna take forever
Pocket Dyke says:
start fresh, from here
Darth Snatch says:
no
Darth Snatch says:
almost done
Pocket Dyke says:
ok, then quit yer whinin'
Pocket Dyke says:
shouldn't I have an avatar that makes sense with Pocket Dyke?
Pocket Dyke says:
OMG. Some funny shit comes up when you google pocket dyke
Darth Snatch says:
The mirror ball makes PERFECT sense with pocket dyke
Darth Snatch says:
SEND ME THE BALL!