Dingbat

Double D says:
hi
I am busy6 today
busy6 is very busy
busy9 is very, very busy
anyway
hi

Ding Crosby says:
hi
i see how it is
you're offline all day
then you think it's cool to login when the day is mostly over
to say you're too busy to talk
i get it
fine
hi

Double D says:
I logged in at 11:30ish
and
hi

Ding Crosby says:
listen
don't get defensive
i've used the same tactic

Double D says:
listen
what I said is true
I've been logged in for hours
and
hi

Ding Crosby says:
so how come you waited until 3 to ding me?
this is a dishonest ding
a faux ding

Double D says:
busy
this ding is as good as any ding
I wanted to say hi
I had a minute
so I dinged

Ding Crosby says:
and i said hi
but please acknowledge the flimsy basis of your ding

Double D says:
I stand by my ding

Ding Crosby says:
(ps you are making me laugh so hard)

Double D says:
ding

Ding Crosby says:
(it's not the ding itself that is making me laugh, it's your stubborn and defiant defense of your ding that is making me laugh)
defiant defense
is that redundant?

Double D says:
redingdant

A Blog in Two Acts

ACT ONE:

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
so
this morning I went to get a cup of coffee across the street from my office
the place I always go
and
I paid the woman
she handed me change
and said, "Thank you sir"
now
I know I don't look like Pamela Anderson
but
Sir?
really?

Sussudio says:
what?
that's totally stupid
here are the reasons why

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
Son, maybe
Young man...

Sussudio says:
i have a list

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
sure

Sussudio says:
ready?

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
but Sir
ok
yes

Sussudio says:
1) you are too short to be a man. Men are required to be at least 5'5"
2) you have boobs that readily apparent
3) not to mention a spacious badonkadonk
4) then there's the whole "I'm wearing makeup, idiot" thing, but most emo kids wear makeup so that doesn't really signify
5) your total lack of adams apple and razor stubble

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
good list
may I respond?

Sussudio says:
sure

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
1) Prince
2) Simon Cowell
3) Don't ever say 'bodonkadonk again, it's weird
4) uh...you covered it with emo kids
5) I didn't shave today

Sussudio says:
lol
all valid points

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
thanks

ACT TWO:

Sussudio says:
guess what's on the radio

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
Joureny?

Sussudio says:
Phil collins - Against all Odds

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
um...
you now what I mean
oh
I hate that song

Sussudio says:
AND YOU COMING BACK TO ME!! IS AGAINST THE ODDS!!!!!
i am fond of the song for it's camp value
i remember when it SPOKE TO ME

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT ME NAHHH-AH--OW!!!

Sussudio says:
back when I was a dateless preteen who had never had a relationship
but

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I remember dancing to that song in highschool

Sussudio says:
i was so dramatic back then

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
right
I remember pretending to be moved by that song
because I was dramatic too

Sussudio says:
that's the difference between you and me
that song made me cry
it make you want to pretend to cry

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
exactly
that is us
Thank you Phil Colins

Sussudio says:
yup
i am real
you pretend to be real
infact

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
there it is

Sussudio says:
you might not even exist

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
If that is true then who are you talking to?

Sussudio says:
good point

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
If I am pretending to be real and you are real and talking to me maybe you are pretending that I am pretending to be real

Sussudio says:
but wait

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I just went cross eyed

Sussudio says:
what if you are just pretending to ask that question

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
well
If I am pretending to be real and you are really pretending that I am real then it is in fact you that is pretending to pretend to ask that question

Sussudio says:
no

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I just passed out

Sussudio says:
i am responding to pretense
i should stop doing that

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
you really should

Happy Birth(blog)day, VB!!

Lorne Green says:
hi

William Shatner says:
hello indeed
today is VB's b-day
i wrote her a poem
it is called "VB, my VB!"

Lorne Green says:
nice
let's hear it

William Shatner says:
it goes a little something like this:
"You are wonderful
you are tall
you eat meat
you sometimes fall
I am your friend
through and through
you can count on me
to fart and poo"
(the end)

Lorne Green says:
that is really something

William Shatner says:
i could write more, but the florist only allowed 150 characters

Lorne Green says:
lolol
I sent her this email...

A very tall and handsome bird dropped a hint or two via email on Friday about today being some sort of special day. He is right. Happy Victoria Day!

In Canada on "Victoria Day Weekend" AKA "Fête de la Reine", AKA "May Two-Four Weekend", everybody drinks too much beer and throws up in the woods.

I will do the same for your birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I thought it was nice

William Shatner says:
lol@ too much beer and throw up in the woods
that's extremely thoughtful

Lorne Green says:
it is true
I agree

William Shatner says:
if it were me, and if i were canadian, i'd outdo all you canadians
i'd drink too much beer and throw up on a moose

Lorne Green says:
would you climb a tree and throw up from above the moose?

William Shatner says:
no

Lorne Green says:
or just throw up on its foot

William Shatner says:
i would stand next to it and throw up on it's side
wait
aren't mooses stupidly tall?
would I reach the side of a moose?

Lorne Green says:
moose are very tall, yes
why don't you throw up on me instead
I am as Canadian as any mosse
mosse
but shorter

William Shatner says:
i'd like to throw up on something more emblematically canadian
like celine dion
or a beaver
or doug mckenzie
or milque-toasty pacifism

Lorne Green says:
you could eat maple syrup and throw up on some pancakes

William Shatner says:
nah

Lorne Green says:
you're right
Celine it is

William Shatner says:
we need to blog this for VB

Lorne Green says:
ok

William Shatner says:
she's our best reader

Lorne Green says:
she is
loyal

William Shatner says:
(best = only)

Lorne Green says:
right
ok
blog it up
what's your name?

William Shatner says:
if it weren't for her, we'd have no readership
hold on!
it's her birthday, dammit!

Lorne Green says:
ok
oh

William Shatner says:
this calls for extra special blogging

Lorne Green says:
good point
but
I already promised her forest vomit

William Shatner says:
oh

Lorne Green says:
what else does she need??

William Shatner says:
better get cracking then.

Tak Ling says:
listen
the next time you take a day off and don't tell me, i'll do something drastic
like sit here and fume
do you want that on your conscience?
and
hi

Toe Ach says:
sorry
I forgot I had the senior center gig again
the old people need me
and
they are some funky, rockin oldies

Tak Ling says:
riiiiight. throw the wrinklies under the bus

Toe Ach says:
is that a euphemism?

Tak Ling says:
for?
mom was asking about you last night
i told her your neuro guy said he didn't see anything that frightened him
she is still worried for you

Toe Ach says:
well, thank mom for me
but I feel fine
'cept for the voices
I was electrocuted yesterday, though

Tak Ling says:
i love that!

Toe Ach says:
We were moving the bed

Tak Ling says:
not in PT?
home electrocuted?

Toe Ach says:
(we got new furniture!)
yah

Tak Ling says:
is your arm better?

Toe Ach says:
Anyway

Tak Ling says:
(yay new furniture!)

Toe Ach says:
no, but
I can bend spoons with my mind

Tak Ling says:
ok Uri

Toe Ach says:
the trick is
there is no spoon
anyway

Tak Ling says:
anyway

Toe Ach says:
I was standing on the power strip thing

Tak Ling says:
may i interject??
please?

Toe Ach says:
(Apparently...I didn't know I was)
and I touched the metal bed frame
and POW
ZOOMY

Tak Ling says:
may i interject?

Toe Ach says:
straight up my arm
it was sort of cool
oh
sure

Tak Ling says:
excuse me?
you are a moron
for standing on the power strip

Toe Ach says:
true

Tak Ling says:
ok
continue
oh wait

Toe Ach says:
yeah I was sort of jammed between the wall and the bed

Tak Ling says:
listen
i told mom that The Swank was abandoning you to move to Spain
and she said "they don't have toilets in Spain"
i kid you not

Toe Ach says:
haha

Tak Ling says:
i did not prompt her or rehearse her

Toe Ach says:
I love your mom
so much

Tak Ling says:
mom is good
she is funny

Toe Ach says:
she is

Tak Ling says:
how is your mom?
and
i have to say
your typing is better since you got zapped

Toe Ach says:
yeah
I'm not even touching the keys
I'm doing it
with my MIND

Tak Ling says:
i have to pee

Toe Ach says:
oh
and
my mom is well
she is moving this week
and keeps calling to ask if I want something such and such that has been in a box since 1994
I don't
she asked if my nephew could have my turntable
and, by the way, does it work
I haven't seen that turntable since 1991 or so

Tak Ling says:
hi
i'm back

Toe Ach says:
I told her if there is a time machine in that box, I will go back to 1991 to see if it works

Tak Ling says:
i love you mom
your

Toe Ach says:
I love you too dear
oh

Tak Ling says:
i am not implying that you are my mom

Toe Ach says:
I thought you were calling me mom

Tak Ling says:
it was a typo

Toe Ach says:
oh
well

Tak Ling says:
but thanks for calling me dear

Toe Ach says:
I enjoyed having you as my daughter for one second there
it gave me purpose

Tak Ling says:
awww
the typo robbed you of your motherhood

Toe Ach says:
go back and read this IM
from the start
it is funny

Tak Ling says:
(and freed me from having to buy you a mother's day card)
this IM is extremely disjointed

Toe Ach says:
yeah
I like it

Tak Ling says:
it's like we're not even takling toeach other

Toe Ach says:
yah

Tak Ling says:
holy typos batman

Toe Ach says:
I like when we do that

Tak Ling says:
me too

Toe Ach says:
toe ach
tak ling

Tak Ling says:
lol

Toe Ach says:
we should blog this
all of it
I'll be Toe Ach
You be Tak Ling

Tak Ling says:
ok