Monday, March 31, 2008

"I AM THE KING OF ENGLAND!"



Stubby says:
I just crushed my fingers in a filing cabinet
let me tell you
it doesn't feel good


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
i bet the filing cabinet feels great about it
think of it that way

Stubby says:
yup
it totally did it on purpose


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
you have brought pleasure to a file cabinet's bleak existence

Stubby says:
you're right
I feel fine niw
I will typo much more now
so there is that
the entertainment fator


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
you are so magnanimous

Stubby says:
fator


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
fator

Stubby says:
niw


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
niw

Stubby says:
it is the middle finger of the my right hand


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
show it to your boss
hold it up and say "what are you going to do about it?"

Stubby says:
I show him that finger often


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
heh

Stubby says:
heh
at first it was like "oh, it isn't that bad"
then
pow
pain
I sort of doubled over
the delay was weird
it took a minute for my brain to register


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
it's a lot of signals for your brain to process
let me give you a summary of what happens at the nerve level

Stubby says:
ok


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
you bang your finger
instantly, the nerve in the finger goes "what the....?" and sends out scouts to see what happened
the scouts go out, take a look at the damage, and go "holy shit...you tell the boss" "no, YOU tell the boss" and they fight all the way back to the nerve about who is going to give the damage report.
then, when they get back to the nerve and tell him, the nerve goes "fuck! Shit!" and kills both the scouts and recruits a bunch more scout to send the message up to the brain
then THOSE scouts head up to the brain, but they're TOTALLY traumatized by the killing of the first 2 scouts, so they are spreading sedition all along the way, getting the general populace into an uproar
meanwhile, the brain is like "la dee dah I wonder when was the last time I gave the order to poop" and the scouts burst in the door and are all breathless and tell the brain what happened and that probably by this time the finger has fallen off (which isn't true, but the brain doesn't know that yet
so the brain kills THOSE scouts and sends all the friggin troops down the nerve, and those troops have to kill all the general populace that are in an uproar and then they get to the finger and see that the damage isn't THAT bad, but they still gotta do something, so they make it throb and you have to bend over and clutch your arm and hand and shake it out because of all the senseless scout killings
the end

Stubby says:
I really enjoyed that
that should be a show on Showtime


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
it's all true

Stubby says:
it is better than The Tudors
seriously
pitch it to HBO
I was on the edge of my seat


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
lololol

Stubby says:
(blog?)


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
the whole thing?

Stubby says:
sure
your story is great!


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
it wasn't THAT great

Stubby says:
I enjoyed it
probably cuz it felt so REAL to me


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
ok
you can be Stubby

Stubby says:
lol


Jonathan Rhys Meyers says:
I will be Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Stubby says:
lolol
I like to watch the Tudors because I like to think of Jonathan Rhys Meyers as a really butch girl doin it with that wicked hot anne Boleyn
I said that to The Missus
and she said "totally"
I lold
and I like when he yells "I'M THE KING OF ENGLAND!!" in the promo
I like to yell that sometimes around the house when I don't get my way

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Blogsitentialist



Geraldine Ferraro says:
hi
we are busy here
but I must go gymming


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
we are too
"bye"

Geraldine Ferraro says:
did whatshisface make his scrabble move yet?


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
ya
he got back in gear

Geraldine Ferraro says:
high score?


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
me! I have the high score
it's 201 to 181 right now

Geraldine Ferraro says:
ohhh still a tight race
but you have an edge
you are Obama to his Hillary


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
yes
but without the crazy pastor

Geraldine Ferraro says:
and you know, that whole black thing he has going on
but you didn't hear it from me
because I am not a racist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
i am more offended by him screaming at me
cause i am not a racist
no one likes to be screamed at

Geraldine Ferraro says:
god
you are such a speechist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
i am offended by your tone

Geraldine Ferraro says:
tonist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
i am offended by your pigeonholing

Geraldine Ferraro says:
pigeonholist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
i am offended by your repetitious schtick

Geraldine Ferraro says:
schtickist
(that was hard to type)


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
i am offended by your existence

Geraldine Ferraro says:
exist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
lolo

Geraldine Ferraro says:
ist


Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
l

Geraldine Ferraro says:
lolol



Jeremiah Was A BullHORN says:
get out of here

Geraldine Ferraro says:
ok
I'm going
bye!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Warning: R Rated Blog Ahead



Qwerty says:
i am playing online scrabble right now with a guy friend
i just played "vagina"
i win

Yuiop says:
game over


Qwerty says:
done

Yuiop says:
there is no topping vagina
wait...


Qwerty says:
lololol

Yuiop says:
did he concede?


Qwerty says:
he hasn't made a move yet

Yuiop says:
or he is afraid of the vag


Qwerty says:
hmmm
he loves the boobs

Yuiop says:
the vagina stopped him dead in his tracks


Qwerty says:
do you really think the vag scares him?

Yuiop says:
I think the word might scare him


Qwerty says:
i mean, i'd be pretty shocked if a vag got slapped down on a board in front of me
it would take me a minute to regroup

Yuiop says:
exactlt


Qwerty says::
and figure out how to use the vag to triple my score

Yuiop says:
exactltltt


Qwerty says:
i'd be testing out different scenarios on the vag

Yuiop says:
you should always use the vag to your advantage


Qwerty says:
i'd be seeing which combinations would best exploit the vag to put me ahead in the game
so that's probably what he's doing too

Yuiop says:
he is working around the vag
figuring how to work his pieces into it


Qwerty says:
lololololol
i have to poop

Yuiop says:
ok
(was that a blog or too vaggy?)


Qwerty says:
too vaggy

Yuiop says:
not pg-13 enough


Qwerty says:
right

Yuiop says:
it's probably good
I didn't want to google "vagina"
not at work


Qwerty says:
yeah

~later on~

Qwerty says:
he played "tears" at the end of vagina
turning it into vaginas

Yuiop says:
he is greedy
he wants more than one vagina


Qwerty says:
i guess that's sublmiminal
all his experiences with vaginas end in tears

Yuiop says:
lolol
(I wish we could blog this)
(it is funny)


Qwerty says:
(i know)
lolol
ok
it's going up

Yuiop says:
put a warning
a disclaimer