A Blog in Two Acts

ACT ONE:

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
so
this morning I went to get a cup of coffee across the street from my office
the place I always go
and
I paid the woman
she handed me change
and said, "Thank you sir"
now
I know I don't look like Pamela Anderson
but
Sir?
really?

Sussudio says:
what?
that's totally stupid
here are the reasons why

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
Son, maybe
Young man...

Sussudio says:
i have a list

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
sure

Sussudio says:
ready?

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
but Sir
ok
yes

Sussudio says:
1) you are too short to be a man. Men are required to be at least 5'5"
2) you have boobs that readily apparent
3) not to mention a spacious badonkadonk
4) then there's the whole "I'm wearing makeup, idiot" thing, but most emo kids wear makeup so that doesn't really signify
5) your total lack of adams apple and razor stubble

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
good list
may I respond?

Sussudio says:
sure

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
1) Prince
2) Simon Cowell
3) Don't ever say 'bodonkadonk again, it's weird
4) uh...you covered it with emo kids
5) I didn't shave today

Sussudio says:
lol
all valid points

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
thanks

ACT TWO:

Sussudio says:
guess what's on the radio

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
Joureny?

Sussudio says:
Phil collins - Against all Odds

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
um...
you now what I mean
oh
I hate that song

Sussudio says:
AND YOU COMING BACK TO ME!! IS AGAINST THE ODDS!!!!!
i am fond of the song for it's camp value
i remember when it SPOKE TO ME

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT ME NAHHH-AH--OW!!!

Sussudio says:
back when I was a dateless preteen who had never had a relationship
but

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I remember dancing to that song in highschool

Sussudio says:
i was so dramatic back then

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
right
I remember pretending to be moved by that song
because I was dramatic too

Sussudio says:
that's the difference between you and me
that song made me cry
it make you want to pretend to cry

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
exactly
that is us
Thank you Phil Colins

Sussudio says:
yup
i am real
you pretend to be real
infact

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
there it is

Sussudio says:
you might not even exist

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
If that is true then who are you talking to?

Sussudio says:
good point

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
If I am pretending to be real and you are real and talking to me maybe you are pretending that I am pretending to be real

Sussudio says:
but wait

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I just went cross eyed

Sussudio says:
what if you are just pretending to ask that question

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
well
If I am pretending to be real and you are really pretending that I am real then it is in fact you that is pretending to pretend to ask that question

Sussudio says:
no

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
I just passed out

Sussudio says:
i am responding to pretense
i should stop doing that

Sir Pamela Anderson says:
you really should