An Open Letter to Number One Fan

OUR FIRST FAN MAIL!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
From: "Number One Fan"
To: "The Chick With The White Text"
CC: "The Chick With The Red Text"
Subject: RE: Dude - we have a site....
Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2005 10:09:33 -0400
LOL I totally dig it! The lennon/mccartney thing is way friggin good...
It's been bookmarked!
I want to link it up! Cmon! I want to help with the discovery!
----------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Chick With The White Text"
To: "Number One Fan"
CC: "The Chick With The Red Text"
Subject: RE: Dude - we have a site....
Date: Mon, 3 Oct 2005 10:07 am
Number One Fan -We cannot let you link it up. We sincerely appreciate the motivation, and the good will, but we simply CANNOT let you help us.
Here is why:
1) we are not bloggers. We are ANTI-bloggers. Thus it would be a misnomer and an insult to link us up.
2) it would destroy our imaginary friendship. See, this is what would happen. You'd link us up, we'd get famous, and you'd be all like, "Hey, see those chicks? I made them famous". Pretty soon, we'd start not returning your phone calls cause you were being too weird with the "I discovered them" thing, and then you'd start leaving creepy voicemails like, "Who do you think you are?? I MADE you!!!". And then there would be the restraining orders, the scary stalking incident in the nightclub, the 3 days you spent at Rikers for violating the order, and then ultimately the homelessness and the wandering the streets of Manhattan muttering "those two stupid BITCHES! They'll pay!!"
So really, we're just thinking of you. Trust us.
Sincerely, The Chick With the White Text.
----------------------------------------------------------------------


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home