Movie Review: Aguirre, Wrath of God

Ebert says:
i saw a movie this weekend
Ebert says:
called "aguirre: wrath of god"
Ebert says:
starring Klaus Kinski
Ebert says:
dude
Ebert says:
that guy was a TRAINWRECK
Ebert says:
he was chewing up every piece of scenery available
Ebert says:
the movie takes place in the amazon rainforest
Ebert says:
i personally think klaus kinski was responsible for the shrinking of the rainforest
Ebert says:
cause he ate it all
Ebert says:
you have to see this movie
Ebert says:
there are dudes in helmets
Ebert says:
and they are spanish
Ebert says:
but they talk german to each other
Ebert says:
and they stomp around the jungle a lot
Ebert says:
and klaus kinski stands like the earth is tilted slightly a lot
Siskel says:
lol
Ebert says:
they don't take baths a lot
Ebert says:
and they get shot with arrows by indians a lot
Siskel says:
I think I ride the subway with them
Ebert says:
lolol
Ebert says:
there was a boat in a tree
Ebert says:
you gotta see this movie
Ebert says:
i was wondering whether i had accidentally eaten some acid or something
Siskel says:
where did you see this crazy movie?
Ebert says:
i rented it from netflix
Ebert says:
go see it
Siskel says:
ok
Ebert says:
klaus kinski was nastassja kinski's dad
Ebert says:
she liked snakes
Ebert says:
and was in the BEST. MOVIE. EVER
Ebert says:
Cat People
Ebert says:
remember that?
Siskel says:
I love that movie
Siskel says:
Malcolm whatshishead was awesome in that
Ebert says:
mcdowell
Ebert says:
he was caligula too
Siskel says:
yeah
Siskel says:
so cool
Siskel says:
I was watching a history channel thing about Caligula the other day
Siskel says:
that dude was effed up
Ebert says:
yah
Ebert says:
i think maybe he was klaus kinski
Ebert says:
but in roman times or something
Siskel says:
yeah
Ebert says:
i am going to link you a picture
Ebert says:
it is a picture of klaus kinski
Ebert says:
tell me this dude is not effed up
Siskel says:
ok
Ebert says:
http://bilder.filmstarts.de/verzeichnis/film/filme/a/aquirre/Aguirre01.jpg
Ebert says:
he does that same thing with his face that you do
Ebert says:
the "i have cheekbones" thing
Siskel says:
lol
Siskel says:
right
Siskel says:
why do I do that?
Ebert says:
you do that BECAUSE YOU CAN
Ebert says:
this is him with a monkey (they had monkeys in the movie)
Ebert says:
http://www.harvardfilmarchive.org/calendars/02julaug/images/k-n/kinski.jpg
Siskel says:
THAT picture is awesome
Ebert says:
this is him after he ate the entire rainforest
Ebert says:
http://www.libertyfilmfestival.com/libertas/wp-content/aguirre0103.JPG
Siskel says:
oh yeah, he looks full
Ebert says:
ok
Ebert says:
enough about klaus
Ebert says:
just rent the movie
Ebert says:
and watch that klaus doesn't eat your dvd player
Siskel says:
ok
Ebert says:
i think you'd really like it
Ebert says:
it's weird
Ebert says:
and it has monkeys and tilted standing and rainforest munching
Ebert says:
and boats in trees
Ebert says:
all things you like
Siskel says:
you know me so well
Ebert says:
(plus the thing with the cheekbones)
Ebert says:
i think you'd like the tilted standing the most
Ebert says:
(have we said anything worth posting yet?)
Ebert says:
or maybe we could post this and call it Our First Movie Review
Ebert says:
you'd have to review the next one
Ebert says:
cause I am leaving you in the dust when it comes to productivity
Siskel says:
movie reviews are a good idea
Siskel says:
well, I need you to do something for me
Ebert says:
ok
Ebert says:
anything
Siskel says:
I need you to fix my typo in the Lennon/McCartney exchange
Siskel says:
it has been driving me mad
Ebert says:
oh!
Ebert says:
ok
Ebert says:
i'll do it now
Siskel says:
we can't have typos if we want to be famous
Siskel says:
I think it's important to be slick
Siskel says:
Polish is good
Ebert says:
ja
Siskel says:
and I don't mean people from Poland
Siskel says:
but I like them too
Ebert says:
yes you do
Ebert says:
Klaus Kinski is from Poland
Siskel says:
full circle
Ebert says:
.....aaaaand now we've come full circle
Ebert says:
jinx on you
Siskel says:
lol
Siskel says:
so, my typo
Siskel says:
I said song twice
Siskel says:
that was dumb
Siskel says:
I'm dumb
Ebert says:
i know
Ebert says:
i'm trying to log in
Siskel says:
ok
Ebert says:
my puter is a whore
Siskel says:
yeah?
Ebert says:
i am saving this IM cause my fucking puter drank my last beer and screwed my best friend
Ebert says:
brb
Ebert says:
need to go tell my best friend my puter has herpes
Siskel says:
damn ok
Siskel says:
that is a tough conversation

(time goes by)

Ebert says:
ok - i'm back
Ebert says:
your typo is fixed
Siskel says:
thank you
Siskel says:
I really think this will make a difference
Ebert says:
should i post the "Aguirre" movie review?
Ebert says:
i will condense it a little
Siskel says:
yeah, that was good
Ebert says:
ok
Siskel says:
leave in anything I said that was funny
Ebert says:
i NEVER hardly EVER edit you
Siskel says:
thanks
Ebert says:
i always edit my stupid crap out
Siskel says:
I edit on the fly
Ebert says:
which pic should i use for the movie review? the cheekbones one, or the "i just ate the rainforest" one?
Siskel says:
I like the one with the monkey
Ebert says:
i feel bad for that monkey
Ebert says:
cause in the movie, he throws the monkey down
Siskel says:
oh, I didn't realize he abused the monkey
Ebert says:
well, he picks it up, tells the monkey that he (klaus) is god, and then throws the monkey down behind him and then take a couple steps and stands all tilted – like.
Ebert says:
you never really see what happens to that monkey, but you feel bad for it
Siskel says:
I feel bad for it just hearing about it
Ebert says:
so - do i still use the monkey pic?
Siskel says:
use cheekbones
Ebert says:
ok
Ebert says:
oh - what are our names?
Ebert says:
i could be pizarro
Ebert says:
no
Ebert says:
i could be....ummm.....
Ebert says:
Thrown Down Monkey?
Ebert says:
no
Ebert says:
you choose
Siskel says:
um
Siskel says:
Siskel and Ebert?
Ebert says:
yeah!
Siskel says:
lol
Ebert says:
i wanna be the fat guy
Siskel says:
I will be cheekbones
Ebert says:
wait
Ebert says:
Siskel or cheekbones?
Ebert says:
which one
Siskel says:
ok
Siskel says:
you be ebert
Siskel says:
I'll be cheek bones
Ebert says:
ok
Siskel says:
cuz I didn't review anything
Ebert says:
well
Ebert says:
we could still call you siskel
Ebert says:
cause siskel doesn't review anything either
Ebert says:
cause he's dead
Siskel says:
ok, if you want
Ebert says:
(did i say that out loud?)
Siskel says:
right, go with that
Ebert says:
are you sure?
Siskel says:
does he do reviews in heaven?
Ebert says:
i dunno
Siskel says:
would he know my name...if I saw him in heaven?
Ebert says:
lolol