Another Drunken Voicemail

....and here's another one from the same night from Solveig!!

"Schrublich. That would your name if you were German. Schrublich. It’s Solveig again. Why… are you …continuously DISSING me? I dunno what you think you’re up to, but it ain’t...right. That’s all I’m saying.

LOOK.

It’s Friday at like…10 o’clock and there is NO REASON for you not to be answering your phone, so I call SHENANIGANS. That’s all I’m saying. You must be either floating in Paul’s pool, like a snatch, or getting your boob touched. Both of which I am fond of and approve of, don’t get me wrong, BUT I think you can take pause and answer your GODDAM phone.

Because I NEED to talk to you. I need you to tell me first of all that I’m stupid, tell me I’m a moron, tell me I’m dumb, tell me I’m retarded. I NEED this from you PLUS you also tell me that I’m beautiful, which doesn’t really make sense with the others, but I enjoy them anyway.

SO.

If you can. If you wish. Call me back.

At least leave me a message saying something offensive or ridiculous, I’m a delirious fan of the absurd, so you can do that Whatever you want, whatever you need. Give it to me baby. Word to your mother. Peace out. Later."

Editor's note: I had turned my phone off that night. Cause I had gone out for dinner that night, and I hate it when people talk on their cell phones during dinner. No boob touching happened that night (or any friggin' night - cause I'm not the cute one like Solveig).