All By Myself

Solveig isn't here today. So I'm all by myself. I think I'll transcribe that drunken voicemail she left on my cell phone a few weeks ago.....

HERE IT IS!!

"SCROOBLAY. It’s Solveig. 'SCROOBLAY' would be your name if you were French. Scrooblay . If there were more than one of you, you would be 'LES SCROOBLAYS'.

Ummm……..HI!!! I wanted to call you because I’m…uh…walking home...from my evening out with my very good friend Matthew who is… AWESOME. Who I think you met at my party, but I don’t think you realize how awesome he is…because you didn’t really get to talk to him but he’s extra AWESOME.

Annnnnnnnnnnd…I’m thinking maybe the reason you didn’t answer your phone is because you are getting your boob touched. Which is AWESOME because I’m also boobtouching…I mean I’m a fan of boobtouching. BUT if it’s a boobtouching by (name changed to protect the innocent), I’m a little worried, because I don’t know that he’s free to touch your boob…yet. SO….if that is true, I am going to have to say DON’T. GO. THERE. GIRLFRIEND.

BUT

if he was single, if he is available, FREE TO BE YOU AND ME, then it’s OK. And I’m hoping you get a really special double boobtouch because those are awesome too.

OK.

Anyway.

I’m a little drunk, just for the record.

Annnnnd if you could, I would like you to transcribe this conversation, this…well…it’s not a conversation so much as it is a monologue…I would like you to transcribe it for a future blog entry. If you can. That would be great.

SO.

Call me if you want. I am walking home. I will probably be walking for several more minutes. Ummm….I could use the company. So…HOLLABACK GIRL. Peace in the middle east. Word to your mother. Amen."